Biblical Conflict Resolution: Peacemaker Reflection

God will be my guide being quick to listen, slow to talk and clear hearted for others. During any conflict I must continue to transform and develop an open heart and mind. Using biblical truth and scripture support as the foundation, and prayer as the compass to guide my words and action for resolution of conflict.

Introduction

1.      How is conflict a positive opportunity? When handled in a respectful, positive way, conflict provides an opportunity for growth, ultimately strengthening the bond between two people. By learning these skills for conflict resolution, you can keep your personal and professional relationships strong and growing.

2.      What clashes do you regularly face? I have a hard time dealing with my ex-wife and being respected and heard as a parent. What are some conflicts you would like to resolve? I would like to not hold the anger for her inside and just allow the best to happen for my child with honor to God. I ask myself what would Jesus do?

3.      Why strive to be a peacemaker? True peacemaking springs from the realization that God has forgiven all our sins and has made peace with us through the death and resurrection of his Son. They are needed in all fields and bring the best out of people to the glory of God.

G1: Glorify God

1.      When have you done the right thing and had it turn out wrong? I believed in the other person in a blind faith (ex-wife). She continued to lie and delay things while I thought I was settling making progress on a parenting plan. What made the situation go bad? I think as I look back on the situation I guided and didn’t ask for feedback. She just went along with things because she didn’t want to rock the boat (faker) and then blew the doors off when we went to mediation.

2.      Does being a good person help you avoid clashes? No Why or why not? Clashes are unavoidable and running away from clashes does nothing to create understanding and growth.

3.      How does God get glory when you deal well with conflict? Because we are representatives of God and what we do we do for His glory and when we are down God is ridiculed because of our responses.

Chapter 1: Your Amazing Opportunity

1.      Describe the kinds of attitude and actions that characterize the three ways people respond to conflict- peacefaking, peacebreaking, peacemaking.

PEACE FAKING: Those of us that find ourselves on the left side of the slippery slope tend to deny that there is conflict at all, wrongly thinking that any kind of conflict is dangerous or thinking that it will damage relationships beyond hope. All of these escape responses are counter productive to unity in the body and glorifying God.

PEACE BREAKING: Those finding that they tend to lash out in anger either physically or with words, slide this way when faced with conflict. These folks tend to see conflict as an opportunity to assert themselves or defend their rights. Ultimately these individuals are more interested in being right than considering others as more important than themselves. The ultimate extreme here would be murder.

PEACEMAKING: These responses are commanded by God. The first three responses are the personal peacekeeping responses. The principle here is to overlook the offense.

2.      How do you usually respond to conflict- as a peacefaker, peacebreaker, or peacemaker? I am usually a talker and if I don’t know what I’m doing I ask for help from others so I guess peacemaker most of the time. Explain what you do. I listen and the try to talk out the situation with whomever I can. I don’t like conflict and can at times not stand up for what I feel because I want things to be OK. Falling into the peacefaker situation.

3.      What exactly is conflict? Mental struggle resulting from incompatible or opposing needs, drives, wishes, or external or internal demands. Why does it happen? Most of the time it is from different views, feelings, desires, and etc… which is then a struggle to get the point or position across to others.

4.      How is conflict like a slippery slope?

Conflict can make life very awkward. It often catches us off guard and leads us to say and do things we later regret. When someone offends us, we often react without thinking. Soon it is as if we are sliding down a slippery slope and things are going from bad to worse. As the illustration shows, this slippery slope can drop off in two directions.

5.      How can clashes be good? In fact, when handled well, conflict forces us to be creative problem-solvers, to avoid mistakes, and to learn how to benefit from our differences, all while challenging us to broaden our skills. What kinds of conflicts are bad? Conflict gets ugly when it affects workflow, gets personal, leads to more conflict, and harms working relationships. Fortunately, there are things you can do to prevent disagreements from taking you down the wrong path, starting with learning about how different people deal with conflict.

6.      What benefits come to you and others when you solve conflict God’s way? Peace and unity is the goal. Paul wrote, “Being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:3).

Chapter 2: Real Peace

1.      What kinds of emotions do you see in the people around you? I have a hard time not seeing others flaws and by connection the negative energy in others. I think by not focusing on the good things in life and looking out for myself as of lately I have developed a negative emotional bubble around me and when people are within that area they are affected by it.

What emotions usually rule your heart? Love, I think heart intelligence provides us with an intuitive awareness that is expanded beyond linear, logical thinking. As a result, our perspective usually becomes more flexible, creative, and comprehensive.

2.      How do we know the Lord is “the God of peace”? First it’s all over the bible in about every book you can find reference to the fact that God grants us peace. Because of our Lord Jesus Christ, we live at peace with God (Romans 5:1) God loved the people of this world so much that He gave His only son, so that everyone who has faith in Him will have eternal life and never die (John 3:16).

3.      What is 3-d peace? Making peace with God, with other people, and finally we can make peace with ourselves in the end. What’s so great about each dimension? Making peace with God you own up to what you are and don’t pretend to be something you’re not and recognize that no number of deeds or acts are going to get you any closer to gaining access to heaven. You then can move toward making peace with people you realize that Jesus did the work for us and as long as we have the connection and understanding with God the relationship with others with a clear heart and mind follows. Finally, peace with ourselves with no guilt or regret for the past and taking full advantage of the opportunities God places in front of us on a daily routine.

4.      Why does Christian unity matter so much? Because people suffer. It’s the guidance and leadership of Christian actions that others use to measure our integrity and faith as followers of God. What happens when Christians don’t get along? It looks bad to others and can confuse people within and outsiders to the church. It can turn off those looking for a church home.

5.      What does Satan have to do with conflict? Everything when we place ourselves in the number one role and look out for ourselves by getting even, mad, being dishonest, or greedy. These are all messages from Satan to distract us from focusing on others and being selfless.

6.      How hard are you willing to strive to be a peacemaker? I want to place this as a priority for myself and hold myself accountable for my actions to support others and stay the course. How do you know if you’re going all-out? Train and try if I am giving my all I will not always be successful but if I find myself striving you use peacemaking strategies in every part of my life then it will resonant and be effective in the people and environment around me.

Chapter 3: Trust God, Do Good

1.      How do you act when you clash with others? I am verbal but not to verbal that I don’t listen but I feel being a peacemaker in my mind is holding true and communicating with others of my point without agreeing or within you others.

Make a list of the concrete, specific things you do. I bury all my feelings; even God wants us to speak up to Him and others. I don’t want to be a push over and I don’t want to be too aggressive where others will turn off.

2.      What feels tough about handing conflict God’s way? I want to be in control and God’s way is letting Him have control in every way. Even though we might be scared or trying to be protective but leaving things to God and listening to his direction is the way to handle conflict with others.

3.      When you find yourself in the middle of a conflict, what makes God worth trusting? Control and God cares. What’s your proof that you can count on him? Acting as a peacemaker can at times cause pain. But we can endure if you are convinced beyond any doubt that God has your back.

4.      Who in the Bible demonstrates trust in God in spite of questions, doubts, and fears? Job, Details, please. Abraham demonstrated faith because he did not delay. He rose up early in the morning and headed out. God did not have to keep pressing Abraham for obedience; he obeyed immediately. The second important thing to note is Abraham’s testimony in verse 5 of his belief in God’s promise, “the lad and I will go…and we will come back”. God clearly promised that Isaac would be the heir and through him God would establish the covenant and His promise to Abraham. Therefore, either God would have to raise Isaac from the dead or God would have to provide another sacrifice in Isaac’s place. We know in retrospect that God would never allow Abraham to sacrifice his son, but Abraham did not know God’s plan. The purpose of this test was to prove Abraham’s faith. If Abraham claimed to believe God but then refused to obey this incomprehensible command, then he did not truly have faith. God stopped Abraham at the point when he made raised the knife with the intention of following through.

5.      What real-life, right-now person do you know who exhibits amazing trust in God? My fiancée Candice, she has taken a broken man and brought him in back from the grave. Because she not only believes in me but put her trust in God to do what was right for us and our future.

6.      Why do you need trust to be God’s go-anywhere, do-anything, follow-no-matter-what kind of person? Because when things look hard or even impossible that’s when most try to take control themselves during these times. How much do you have that kind of trust-or not? I have always taken control myself and because of that I didn’t trust in God and never felt comfortable in putting my trust in anyone or anything. Trusting God is the only way to move forward otherwise we slide back into self reliance and selfishness.  

G2: Get the Log Out of Your Eye

1.      What does it means to “get the log out of your own eye”? The most important aspect of getting the log out of your own eye is to go beyond the confession of wrong behavior and face up to the root cause of that behavior. The Bible teaches that conflict comes from the desires that battle in your heart (James 4:1-3; Matt. 15:18-19). Some of these desires are obviously sinful, such as wanting to conceal the truth, bend others to your will, or have revenge. In many situations, however, conflict is fueled by good desires that you have elevated to sinful demands, such as a craving to be understood, loved, respected, or vindicated.

2.      Is it ever okay to point out the failings of others? Yes and explain as God guides and empowers these efforts, you can find freedom from the idols that fuel conflict and be motivated to make choices that will please and honor Christ. This change in heart will usually speed a resolution to a present problem, and at the same time improve your ability to avoid similar conflicts in the future.

3.      What two kinds of faults are we likely to show in a conflict? Letting it go or getting over it. Overlooking faults is the best way to move forward with results and not get caught in the blame game.

Chapter 4: Get Over It

1.      How do you feel when others put you under a microscope, scrutinizing and criticizing your every move? I really don’t mind it until it becomes verbal and then I get defensive in some way. I think I am harder on myself than anyone else could be about my performance and resolution.

2.      What does the Bible tell you about overlooking an offense good idea or bad idea? It can be good when it is something that will fester inside of you and can be like poison. It can be a bad idea when it becomes about pride or getting your way instead during something that offensive.  

3.      Is overlooking a cop-out? No, Explain your answer. Sometimes it’s about pride, envy, and anger instead overlooking can be very useful to get a different perspective of the situation.

4.      How do you know when overlooking isn’t the right choice? If you overlook a situation that is worth fighting for people can think you are not passionate or caring.

5.      Think of a conflict you often face-and picture yourself overlooking your opponent’s faults. How do you feel about that? It is almost impossible but I think facing my ex-wife and overlooking her faults has been very difficult feeling I am right in the things I want for the parenting plan. I have felt that I was giving too much and not fighting enough then I realized I was giving all of my energy and life to a negative result. God will provide and the peace that brings me is more important than fighting over things that are out of my control.

6.      When is it right to surrender your rights? When you get involved to much that it becomes a necessity to win. When is it wrong? If you are in a place of conviction and feel as if God is using you as a tool then you are required to fight.

            Chapter 5: The State of Your Heart

1.      What was the last major conflict you experienced? The mediation between myself and my ex-wife.  What wants and desires inside of you contributed to the conflict? I wanted my daughter and I wanted to punish her for the mean things she did to me and the way she treated me during this whole process.

2.      When have you had a good desire that went bad- wanting a right thing at the wrong time, in the wrong way, and in the wrong amount? I can use the example of desiring my daughter I feel that I was the parent and deserved to have her live with me. It became all I thought about and all I wanted. It became my world and if I wasn’t with her I pushed to be involved in everything even when not wanted. The amount of time was ridiculous even writing a journal if document my efforts. Good desire bad way of going about it.  

3.      What is idolatry? Is actually the worship of something other than the one true god, whether this is represented in an actual image or just a persistent thought in the heart or mind. The point is that God insists that He, as the one and only true and living God, is the only one who is to be worshiped. An idol is anything which becomes effectively a god or gods to a person.

4.      How can you tell if a good desire has crossed the line into sin? You can dwell on your disappointment and allow it to control your life. At the very least, this will result in self-pity and bitterness toward your spouse. At worst, it can destroy your marriage. Let us look at how this downward spiral evolves.

5.      Explain what this means: “I desire…I demand… I judge… I punish.” What behaviors go along with each? Desire: Some desires are inherently wrong, such as vengeance, lust, or greed. But many desires are not wrong in and of themselves. Demand: This is especially true when we come to see a desire as something we need or deserve, and therefore must have in order to be happy or fulfilled. Judge: When they fail to satisfy our desires and live up to our expectations, we criticize and condemn in our hearts if not with our words. Punish: When others fail to satisfy our demands and expectations, our idols demand that they should suffer. Whether deliberately or unconsciously, we will find ways to hurt or punish people so they will give in to our desires.

6.      What’s the one cure for an idolatrous heart? This deliverance is not done in blanket fashion, with all our idols being swept away in one great spiritual experience. Instead, God calls us to identify and confess our idols one by one, and then to cooperate with Him as He steadily removes them bit by bit from our hearts. Why does that work? Jesus, and it is administered through the Word, the Spirit, and the church. The more rigorously you avail yourself of these means of grace, the greater effect they will have in delivering you from the idols that plague your soul.

            Chapter 6: Breaking Loose

1.      What is grace? Simply put, grace can be defined as unearned favor.  Specifically, God's grace is something God does for the benefit of His people just because He loves them, not because of something they have done to earn it.  Grace is a gift and can never be earned.  It's always totally free. What does it have to do with peacemaking? His grace propels us to own our part of conflict and do everything we can to mend relationships before they are broken.

2.      Explain what repentance is- and isn’t. It is breaking free from sin, it doesn’t mean we are without sin it just means we recognize it and have asked God to take it from us in every way possible from our hearts with no guilt. It also in theory changes our thinking by repenting for our sins and not repeating the past.

3.      What happens when you refuse to confess your sins? We give ourselves no opportunity to grow and know ourselves any better. By identifying our short comings we are able to find ways from God to come first by identifying the issue and dealing with them, giving them to God, and using scripture to guide our upcoming actions.

4.      How can you spot sin in your life? The way in which we talk with others and communicate your needs, desires, or insight. Why bother? Again by identifying our needs self-examination we are able to focus on our communication skills and how best to use the guidance of Jesus to be better peacemakers.

5.      As you read the Scriptures in this chapter, what sins came to mind? Controlling others, not listening to authority figures, serving our own needs and desires. I would answer the question by simply stating being selfish is no way to live and even I worse way to develop as a peacemaker. What are you going to do about them? Just as it states in the book identify, ask for forgiveness, and search the scripture for guidance and support.

6.      What are the “Seven A’s” of confession? Address everyone involved (All those whom you affected) Avoid if, but, and maybe (Do not try to excuse your wrongs) Admit specifically (Both attitudes and actions) Acknowledge the hurt (Express sorrow for hurting someone) Accept the consequences (Such as making restitution) Alter your behavior (Change your attitudes and actions) Ask for forgiveness

 How are they beneficial? If you really want to make peace the benefit is huge, ask God to help you breath grace by humbly and thoroughly admitting your wrongs.

            G3: Gently Restore

1.      What’s tough about stepping in to help when others sin? The fact that it is much harder to act than to think of reasons to ignore the problem. It also might be miss understood as being a better person than the person we are trying to support.

2.      When should you get involved-and when should you butt out? When you feel like you might have something to say or do to support the situation in a positive way. It’s easy to jump in but we must resist the eager nature to jump in but we don’t have a plan. You must have a plan of action before involving ourselves.

3.      What does it look like when you katartizo the people in your world? In the short term we might cause some pain but over all we are trying to make a positive impact on the other person’s life. Helping others identify and then developing a plan of action to get them back on track. Then own it with them be a part of the process and a guide and support.

            Chapter 7: Just between us

1.      When have you tried to confront others about their sins?  I am not one for pointing out others about their sins. I cannot think of a time that I took the effort to confront someone about their sins. How did it turn out? It didn’t because this is something I need to do more now.

2.      How should you “go and show” others their faults? As Jesus would rescue others from sin and being overwhelmed by the situation. How is what Jesus prescribes in Matthew 18 different from simply getting in the face of others? Imitate Jesus shepherd love to others.

3.      How do you know if a sin is too serious to overlook? If the situation is over whelming at the point of impact such as something that effects others in its various ways. If the person doesn’t realize they need help and refuse your help. Also if the sin is serious enough to threaten the others safety, or soul.

4.      What attitudes and actions disqualify you from helping others see their sins? If your attitude becomes one of sorrow and or you become aggressive during the communication. The situation can be disqualified when actions become aggressive and the person you are trying to help feels threatened and then conversation is not even heard.

5.      In what situations is it a bad or dangerous idea to go straight to an offender? Use a go between to discuss sensitive issues. If you’re young use an older veteran to discuss your issue and have back up to resolve it. If the situation is still raw and or the person is resistant and bitter of the situation.

6.      What good things can result if you go and point out the faults of others? The relationship can become stronger and develop to be even directed closer to God. It is a chance to serve and learn more about the person you are working for.

            Chapter 8: Speak truth—but Listen first

1.      How might your words help or hurt the situation when you go and show others their faults? If you don’t listen to the needs and reactions as the conversation gets started, also it can be hurtful if the words are not given with thoughtfulness and you become to abrasive.

2.      What can you do to prepare yourself before you talk with others about their failings? Prepare a game plan so you might want to rehearse what you’re going to say or do and pray for guidance.

3.      Think of a conflict you face right now. What would be the best time, place, and method to deal with it? I should have let things cool down I was reactive to the situation and didn’t start with constructive criticism. The place was wrong we were in public and that didn’t help. The method was good because I prayed with my friend and after a little rant I listened and developed the trust that he needed to feel comfortable.  

4.      How is communicating with others about their faults more than simply confronting?

5.      What important pointers can you put into practice as you go to others? Fast Ears, slow mouth, and control emotions. By doing this you make good use of your time and effective use of scripture.

6.      How can you inject grace into your conversations with others? Give personal “I” conversations and be factual and give feedback then talk about solutions of the situation.

            Chapter 9: Get Help

1.      What’s your next step when you go in person to show someone his or her sin and that person doesn’t listen? Get help! Then ask for reinforcement during this time of need and support.

2.      How might that tactic help a situation? The person you are talking with will not develop resentment or shut down and not take support or advice. What are you trying to accomplish? The idea is to bring the person back into a place they can have a relationship and communicate with God.

3.      What cost to you does this next step involve? It is always costly because your emotions and heart hurt for the other person. How do you know whether it’s the right step to take? The result that those efforts have on the other person’s heart and soul is really all that matters at that point.

4.      What relational shortcuts do we sometimes take in place of this next step? Bring others to expose the problem and support the issues to help with developing understanding and a relationship with God that they need to support healthy soul and faith. Which are you most likely to do? Bring the church into the picture for support either a pastor or elder to help.

5.      What can you do if bringing other witnesses doesn’t help? Tell the church hoping that your friend is a part of your church they can be involved. And what comes after that?  Give them a time-out and time to recover from the situation putting a plan into action.

6.      Suppose your opponent doesn’t respond at all to your efforts.  Why keep working at this process? God calls us to give the effort Jesus gives us. We are not asked to give a little to our brothers and sisters we are told to give all we can to others.

            G4: Go and Be Reconciled

1.      What is reconciliation? Reconciliation is the act of making amends and offering apologies in order to again be friends and enjoy peace with the other person or people. Why do we need it? Because reconciliation bring us closer to others and God. Family and friends are the most important things we have in your lives.

2.      Describe what reconciliation looks like in real life. Forgiveness and reconciliation can lead to a stronger bond than previously existed. Each time an offense occurs, we can learn more about both the other and ourselves. This can lead to a deeper knowledge and understanding of each by the other, and thus can also lead to a more authentic bond of intimacy. Reconciliation should always be the goal.

3.      Explain what forgiveness is—and isn’t. Forgiveness means overlooking the sin or transgression, and restoring a bond of love. It does not mean justifying the offensive action or accepting it as right, nor does it mean justifying one’s own anger or sinful reaction. Forgiveness means laying aside our judgments of the other person and our own sinful reactions, and accepting others for who they are.

            Chapter 10: Solid Forgiveness

1.      Why should Christians be great at forgiving? To put forgiveness into our actions and restore a relationship. If the person has severely abused us or our trust, it may not be wise to do so. Or perhaps the person is gone or dead. We can still forgive them, pray for them, and accept them—if only at a distance. We need to look at what is in ourselves that prevents us from reconciling—some fear or expectation of the other. But it is crucial to remember that forgiveness is only fulfilled in reconciliation.

2.      What is “fake forgiveness”? Fake forgiveness is offered with a smile covering clenched teeth. It's an attempt to gloss over an offense and pretend everything is fine when, in truth, unresolved hurt and resentment remain. How does it differ from the real thing? Forgiveness is hard—but it is infinitely sweeter when we reconcile with someone we deeply love. It is hard because it makes us look at our selfishness, our judgment, our expectations, and ourselves. It also shatters the illusions and false objectifications that we have had of the other person, not to mention of the offense itself.

3.      Where do you get the ability to forgive? For God, the guide of scripture and the support of friends and family. How do you get it? Clear your mind, pray for guidance and a clear heart and understand to situation in every way possible. My goal is to change myself, to open myself to God's healing for my own weaknesses. To open my heart to God's holiness - only He can help me cleanse my own mind of negative and wrong feelings. I praise God that He is working with me, teaching me, and most of all, that He loves me through the whole thing.

4.      How have you seen forgiveness in real life? Countless times in my life, I have brought up old hurts later, when the fresh anger was over. Rarely has this done any good. Looking back, I realize now that the reason for the failure was my own reason for bringing it up again. I had thought I was trying to facilitate communication, at the time. It is important to communicate, of course. But when the conversation went badly, I came to realize that I had brought it up, to try to prove that I was right. I gave much thought to the reason why I wanted to prove that I was right, when I was sure that I was. Quite honestly, it was pride. It has been a source of deep disappointment to me, finding this out about myself. I had truly thought I was humble. I'm a quiet, passive person in general, who smiles often. To come to the realization that I was cursed with pride was a terrible shock. But unfortunately, it was true. Did it really matter that I was right? Usually, the answer is "no". Surely pride is one of the sharpest tools there are, to destroy a relationship. No wonder the enemy tries to use it so often to hurt us. What about it looks appealing—or unappealing? To let the heart be open and free is very important and pure. This allows us to use our energy to develop and grow to help others and our families in a Godly way.

5.      What are the four promises of forgiveness? "I will not dwell on this incident."

"I will not bring up this incident again and use it against you." "I will not talk to others about this incident.""I will not let this incident stand between us or hinder our personal relationship." What good do they do? When should you forgive? By making and keeping these promises and then forgiving, you can tear down the walls that stand between you and your offender. You promise not to dwell on or brood over the problem or to punish by holding the person at a distance. You clear the way for your relationship to develop unhindered by memories of past wrongs. This is exactly what God does for us, and it is what he calls us to do for others.

            Chapter 11: It’s not all about you

1.      What’s the difference between a “personal issues” and“material issue?” personal issues are feelings and emotions and something that is needed by another to resolve an issue. The material issue is the property, money, or a right that is needed.

2.      Give an example of a material issue you face. Lately it’s been about money, my home property, and the exercise of certain rights with my daughter. These issues should not be swept under the carpet or automatically passed to a higher authority. Instead, they should be negotiated in a biblically faithful manner.

3.      What’s the best way to approach negotiation? You should try to negotiate substantive issues in a cooperative manner rather than a competitive manner. In other words, instead of aggressively pursuing your own interests and letting others look out for themselves, you should deliberately look for solutions that are beneficial to everyone involved. Why look out for the interests of others? "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others" (Phil. 2:3-4).

4.      How can you watch out for the interests of others without caving in to their demands?

5.      Sum up each step of the PAUSE process in your own words. Prepare (pray, get the facts, seek godly counsel, develop options) Affirm relationships (show genuine concern and respect for others) Understand interests (identify others' concerns, desires, needs, limitations, or fears) Search for creative solutions (prayerful brainstorming) Evaluate options objectively and reasonably (evaluate, don't argue)

6.      What’s the ultimate goal of this hard work of negotiation? The principle will help you not only to resolve your present dispute but also to negotiate more effectively in all areas of your life.

            Chapter 12: Overpower Evil with Good

1.      Does peacemaking solve every conflict? No Why—or why not? When someone asks for your help in resolving a conflict, you can often do a great deal of good without getting directly involved in the dispute. But sometime the situation is more than anyone else can handle every conflict sometimes solving a conflict is not the answer it’s addressing the conflict.

2.      What can you do when peacemaking doesn’t get the results you hoped for? If the result is not what you hoped for and peacemaking does not resolve a dispute, you may need to help the person implement one of the other conciliation responses (mediation, arbitration, or church discipline), which will require the assistance of other people in your church or community.

3.      How is continuing to love people not the same as giving up? By being open and loving the person you are helping sees the love of God from you and uses you as a crutch and support. Be an inspiration to others by refusing to give up. Who knows what someone else can achieve because you never gave up and in turn inspired them not to give up.

4.      Name some practical actions you can take toward your opponents who keep behaving badly. Control your tongue, Godly advice, keep doing right, and recognize your limits.

5.      How is love your ultimate weapon?  Luke 6:27 and 35 the following: But I say to you who are listening now to me, (in order to heed, make it a practice to) Love you enemies; treat well (do well to, act nobly toward) those who detest you and pursue you with hatred. But love your enemies, be kind and do good -doing favors so that someone derives benefit from them; and lend expecting and hoping for nothing in return, but considering. What can it accomplish? The relationship can develop trust and encouragement to the person to know they are on the same page. It’s a critical step in the conciliation process is to help each party begin to trust and respect the other party. People can learn to disagree with one another without judging the other person as being wrong or inferior.

6.      How do you know that your obedience to God is never wasted?
The Christian life consists of two words, "love" and "obedience. It’s not wasted because we are called to do so and that is not a blind love it’s a true love not for what we get out of it but because of what we can do for others .