Reflections of The Reinventors

My first thought when I received this assignment was ‘not another leadership book, we have read so many of them, what could this one say that is any different?’ However, after the first five minutes reading it, I got the message loud and clear.

Reinvention is as much about the journey as it is about the destination. In no other way is this more evident then in my reflection on the last two years of my life.  I went through a painful divorce, I was lost and had no idea what life would have in store for me next.  Two years ago, before the divorce, my life was pretty well planned out, I was in control and it was safe to say I was pretty satisfied with it. Yet, there was still a quiet, undeniable voice inside me that whispered, “There has to be more!”  I was in search of that ‘something’ but had no idea what it was. Reinvention, means exactly what it implies and that is when I realized this book was not chosen for me by mistake.

            My first question was “What is reinvention?” Any preconceptions I had before I started to read this book were quickly dispelled. I began to read with a clouded mind, but after five minutes those clouds were swept aside. I realized that I had real life experience of this process even though I did not know I was doing it. As a new leader, I began to chart a course, reluctantly at first, by researching, designing, testing my skills, and gathering tools, experience, and friends who might help me start the journey.  Initially, I found that many people I encountered were saboteurs, bad guys, paper tigers, false prophets, who had old entrenched beliefs and patterns of self-defeat that they tried to impose upon me. After being bull headed for many months I had hit an emotional wall, made many mistakes, and was bottoming out. Why is it when God pulls the rug out from under us that we still look up and ask Him for help?

            Most people don’t go through the effort of reinventing until the pain of staying the same outweighs the pain of change. I was at that point two years ago, and while I was not going through physical pain, the pain of all of the people that had lied and conspired against me caused me to be in constant emotional pain. The authors’ main message was evident and it spoke to me loud and clear that I was not living fully aligned with God’s values and that was the true reason for my pain.  Strangely, there is a point when pain becomes a motivator. We as leaders also have an internal drive to experience our desires and dreams fully. Big dreams that are worthy of our life’s work will motivate us when the going gets tough (take Rudy, and Rocky as examples). I think that is why we, as a global community, always want to see those downtrodden types win or succeed. It is through their success that we know our dreams are possible.

            As I continued reading this book, I kept waiting for the author to let me in on the trick to getting results, but it never came. There is no trick. Reinventors must do the work to succeed; it is as simple as that. Those who do not, will not, or cannot work hard for success will drag themselves and the community down. At the beginning of my personal journey, I was expecting to bounce back sooner and wanted a quick fix. We all want a new career, wardrobe, body, or girlfriend – NOW! Lasting change takes time and that is the overwhelming message.

            Jennings points out several times that reinvention will not be a get-rich-quick or get-anything-quick program. The journey really begins with cleaning out the ways we hold ourselves back and get in touch with what we really want in our lives. This creates space for who we really are to emerge. We cannot possibly know who we are going to become before we start the process. Sometimes it takes a push or pull, but when it is time to reinvent, our souls start clamoring for us to leave the 9 to 5 job, or leave the abusive relationship and start fresh. That is “choosing reinvention.” If we do not shut up, calm our spirits and listen to God’s voice, life becomes a living hell until we do. That is when reinvention chooses you. We reinvent because we know that wherever we are standing at this moment, more is possible in life.  God places a fire in everyone and it is our mission or purpose to develop that fire. To fan the flame is a waste of our precious gifts.

            So, now what? This is where we find the essence of reinvention. With everything in shambles, we get to start putting our life together in a new way, by discovering and creating a circle of friends, allies, and support. As we stay on the journey, these new ways of living and seeing ourselves start to emerge and take root. This process takes time because we can sabotage our newly emerging self. Successfully reinventing ourselves also uncovers a deep sense of gratitude, abundance, and generosity. It awakes the desire to ‘pay it forward’ so others will also have the chance to experience the joys of reinvention. In reality, the ups and downs of life are far more chaotic. And there is not just one journey; there are as many unique journeys as there are unique people.  It takes several mini-journeys for us to develop the values and characteristics that make us able to make continuous change. After all how can we ask others to change if we are not making these changes in our own lives?

             I felt pressured after such a downward fall, to promise some grandiose outcome to my parents and others. This was pretty unrealistic. However, in order to prove that my efforts in reinventing myself were not in vain I would check in and put a positive spin on every little thing even though things were generally not as great as I presented. The truth is, that I didn’t have adequate words to describe the outcome because I did not know how things would turnout. This is such a personal process, so deep, so wide, so quiet, and so subtle. It is much bigger than a breadbox and heavier than a duck, so to speak. Some of the revolving questions were: will I get a new job? Maybe. Will I find the love? Maybe. We all make mistakes. And there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, as Jennings points out,  fear of failure holds us back in our reinvention process. We have to be willing to experiment and take some hits if we are going to learn and grow. Yet, there are “mistakes” and there are “Mistakes.” One is acceptable but we must learn and grow from these situations so that we continue to change. If we continue to make errors and cannot learn from them than we are stagnate. Being unchanging in our ways, which will not lead to growth or a positive outcome.

            Particularly, Jennings writes about Starbucks, Apple, and Southwest. Businesses that, because of the right people in the organization seeking and embracing change and evolution, were able to avoid potential business plateaus, or worse yet demise. Instead they grow their companies despite, in some cases, seemingly insurmountable challenges within their organization or market. Jennings also writes about companies that missed the boat completely. Included are the stories of Kmart, Blockbuster, and EMI. The idea in this section is that we can, and should, learn from others’ mistakes. Many companies failed to reinvent themselves even when competition and technological advancements were staring them directly in the face and yelling, “Get with the program!”

            Reflecting on these points, it became very evident that looking back, I had participated in the eight major categories of failure: Refusing help, Quick Fix, Forget the Dreams, Shaming self, Not trusting, Sob stories, Confusion, Learning but not Acting. I have refused help countless times, which is known as the “macho reinventor” or the “lone wolf syndrome.” It sounds like “I can do it, I should be able to do this myself”. It means refusing (or not even seeing) the guidance and support that surrounds us. Refusing help is driven by pride, fear, and deep shame (these are paths to the dark side) that may be masquerading as courage, but true courage looks like vulnerability. The vulnerable leader is the compassionate and soulful person. As soon as we are vulnerable and open to being helped, then we can see allies everywhere, we will accept offers, and our reinvention process will get back on track.

            Secondly, by putting a band-aid on a broken bone, is to pretend things are OK when they aren’t. Thinking that a failing career or love life can be magically patched up by a new job or lover is flawed. It is a shallow fix that does not undo the pattern underneath. The soul needs to breath, shine, and tells us: “Wherever you go, there you are!” If we pretend to be OK we drag our old selves into new situations and end up creating the same old results. Another aspect of creating the same old result is to ditch our dreams for the safe things we really hate. I have always dreamed of someday being a principal or college professor. But I have miserably been working as a writer, paralegal, program specialist, teacher and server in the past couple years. I get laid off and what do I do? Freak out and decide to do a nighttime Law School program. “It’s a good, safe move. Gotta pay the bills, right?” Except for the fact that I do not even like law. STOP RIGHT THERE! Ditching my dream to satisfy my anxious mind will only dig a deeper hole to jump out of later.

            As a reinventor we must identify the reality that shaming ourselves is a common but very negative behavior. Our culture is dishing out images of what success looks like they are usually clean and pretty, nothing like the hot mess that is reinvention. So it is no wonder we eat them up, then beat ourselves up, and shame ourselves for not measuring up to all of that. Stop the insanity! “Oh, I’m such a loser, I feel so alone, and where did I go wrong?” What a waste of energy, and a vicious cycle that is negative not only for me, but also for anybody around me. Others pick up on our shame and reflect it back at us. For me I took that as further proof that I was worthless (not true!). As Jennings points out that we must celebrate and honor ourselves as “a work in progress.”

            Again Jennings indicated that if we do not trust the process then, “we do not have a dog in this fight”.  When we forget to trust the process, we thrash about; kicking and screaming bloody murder because something is going terribly wrong here. We grip the steering wheel of life way too tight and it is exhausting. The challenge is to let go, trusting that God’s intervention; deeper soul guidance can steer better than we can. He will redirect us, redefine us, and help us bring out our best and most authentic selves. As Einstein famously said, “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” So why do we keep on trying the same old way of solving problems?

            It is an easy trap is to believe in our own sad sob story. I have shared my story and it is sad but this part of my life is done and should not be relived over and over again. Frequently, I would stew on several points sadness in my life and would tell myself, “I’m going on 40… nobody will want me.” Or I lose my job, and think, “I’m not desirable and nobody will hire me”. We can get so entrenched in our sob stories that we lose the ability to envision bigger possibilities for ourselves.

            It is very easy to confuse when we say “yes” when we really want to say “no”, and vice versa. We acquiesce when our bosses/managers ask us to work late, again (“I just can’t say no!”). Then we might say “no” to dinner with the wife and our evening run. And then we wonder why we keep getting sick all of that negative energy goes somewhere. When we do not honor our inner compass, and listen to our inner spirit messages from God then nobody wins. When we say “yes” to our fears and how convincing they are, then say “no” to following our true calling, we are locked up in a emotional prison, and living a life that is not our own. I have asked, “Whose life is this? I don’t know myself!” So by calming ourselves and listening to God’s message we get our priorities straight. We must have the courage to find your real voice and follow it with conviction and passion.

            For me, the endless consumption of knowledge in the leadership program and being at the point that I have no integration of these theoretical practices is scary. I read advice like this all the time from various pints of view in the many authors and course I have been involved in. I have a pile of leadership, management, and self-help books on my bookshelf. The reflection papers have given me the opportunities to put some of these ideas into practice. Sometimes I think I am learning, but the new concepts do not actually sink in and make a difference unless I am able to apply the knowledge. This is very important in the process of reinventing, we must test out the things we are learning with continually change and develop our values and skills.

             Embarking on the reinvention process is tough and this way might not seem relevant or appealing to some.  When we immerse deeply in our own Reinvention Process, as we are melted down and restored in the crucible of community, we find our old wounds surfacing and healing. And at some point, gratitude arises, spontaneously, for the precious gift that we have received.   I came across this quote from the Dalai Lama: “The planet does not need more successful people. The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, story tellers, and lovers of all kinds.” Only then will we finally meet our lover, storyteller, healer, peacemaker selves and see that they are way cooler and more meaningful than the successful selves we were striving to become.

            The author Jason Jennings was interviewed in 2010 when the book first came out on Fox News. The conversation was brief but enlightening. The reporter asked: Why do leaders try to fit a square peg in a round hole?” Which goes hand and hand with the old saying “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.” Mr. Jennings pointed to the fact that most people cannot let go of ego, same old same old, and “yesterday bread winner” the legacy brand. He also stressed that to be as successful as many of the role models in the book are, a person must be malleable and let go of the past and what is comfortable and safe. Interestingly, the reporter than referred to the authors of, “Who Moved my Cheese” and pointed to the expression, “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?” Jennings referred to his book and the Starbucks, CEO Howard Schultz, and how in 18 months he initiated over 180 changes in the company.  But the most crucial was the mission from making great coffee, to make this the important focus and then constant growth.  Finally, Jennings declared that the reinventor within a company:

1.      Don’t bow to the shareholders

2.      Stay ahead of the customers

3.      Let go

In short, we reinvent so that we can offer our “best selves” to the world as God intends. And this outcome is not fixed, but it is a moving target that we follow from the known shores of success to the wild waters of love. If there is one quality that we need above all others it is to remain ‘in step’ with the Spirit. It is flexibility, as Jennings would say, closely followed by courage. Too much ‘preprogramming’ can cause us to miss out on where the Holy Spirit may be wanting to lead us as (Kotter, 1995). Our aim is to share the Father’s heart and to be in the ‘mode’ that He is in and follow His lead. This will determine whether our responses and reactions to thing that come at us are of leadership quality. The experience of devotion and letting go should be primarily one of joy and praise, or of profound mourning – and of everything in between. It’s called life and the ways in which we deal with it, character.

           

References:

Jennings, J. (2010) The Reinventors: How Extraordinary Companies Pursue Radical Continuous

Change, Penguin Group, New York, New York.

Kotter, J. (1995) Leading Change, 8-Step Change Model, Harvard Business School Press,            Boston, Massachusetts.